Reptile Forum, Reptile Classifieds - CaptiveBred

Scott W · Posted: Thu Oct 06, 2005 9:45 am Post subject: Really bad jokes

sorry

Two Aerials met on a roof, fell in love, & got married
The ceremony was rubbish but the Reception was Brilliant.

A man goes to the doc, with a strawberry growing out of his head.
Doc says 'I'll give you some cream to put on it'

"Doc, I can't stop singing the green green grass of home."
"That sounds like Tom Jones syndrome."
"Is it common?"
"It's not unusual."

Two cows standing next to each other in a field, Daisy said to
Dolly "I was artificially inseminated this morning."
"I don't believe you," said Dolly
"It's true, straight up, no bull!"

A man takes his Rottweiler to the vet.
"My dog's cross-eyed, is there anything you can do for him?"
"Well," says the vet, "let's have a look at him." So he picks
the dog up and examines his eyes, then checks his teeth. Finally, he
says "I'm going to have to put him down."
"What? Because he's cross-eyed?"
"No, because he's bloody heavy."

A neutron walks into a bar. "I'd like a beer" he says.
The bartender promptly serves up a beer.
"How much will that be?" asks the neutron.
"For you?" replies the bartender, "no charge."

Two hydrogen atoms walk into a bar. One says, 'I think I've lost
an electron.'
The other says 'Are you sure?'
The first says, 'Yes, I'm positive...'

Police arrested two kids yesterday, one was drinking battery
acid, the other was eating fireworks. They charged one and let
the other one off.

"So I got home, and the phone was ringing. I picked it up, and
said 'Who's speaking please?' And a voice said 'You are.'" Embarassed

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Please DO NOT pm orders for reptiles, send email instead scott@captivebred.co.uk

Stuart · Posted: Thu Oct 06, 2005 4:08 pm Post subject:

oh dear....

Jackie · Posted: Thu Oct 06, 2005 6:29 pm Post subject:

I love daft jokes like that....
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Best wishes, Jackie

3:4 Eublepharis macularius
1:0 Gekko gecko
3:4:1 R. auriculatus
1:3 R. ciliatus
1:1 R. chahoua
1:1 R. leachianus henkeli

Stuart · Posted: Thu Oct 06, 2005 6:45 pm Post subject:

you've come to the right place then...lol Wink

mg · Contributing Member Joined: 11 Jun 2004 Posts: 71

Yeah..I found it funny too.. Smile

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I can speak THREE languages...but English ain't one of them!

jim_radley · Posted: Thu Oct 06, 2005 8:54 pm Post subject:

How do you make a Blonde laugh at Christmas?
Tell her the joke in September

Dan · Captivebred Communist Joined: 08 Sep 2005 Posts: 1306

there was me thinking this was just a post of the jokes Stu has told Laughing

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TFA

The future is bright, the future is a net like pattern.................

I'm NOT an expert, so if you don't want to know my opinion don't ask!!

Stuart · Posted: Thu Oct 06, 2005 10:54 pm Post subject:

As if! mine are much worse..lol