Reptile Forum, Reptile Classifieds - CaptiveBred

Peter Parrot · Posted: Tue Jan 31, 2006 4:59 pm Post subject:

By the way, re; Nigel Marvin, bit of an odd ball.

I consider myself a bit of one too, Wink

Must be! Right enough!
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Peter Parrot · Posted: Thu Feb 02, 2006 4:39 am Post subject:

Have just finished watching the Bionic man again, Austin Flipping Stevens.
He was somewhere I would love to go, the Flores see. This time looking for guess what, the "Biggest Dragons" or something similar.

Just as before, loads of crap, him waffling on , footage of him buying Melons and other fascinating activities, then "wrestling" another incredibly suspiciously chilled out retic, a series of Klinsmann/style dives and theatrical slips and slides set to music that would blend into the soundtrack of Indiana Jones or Jurassic park equally well then loads more waffling, babbling nonsense.

He had a good few pics of a blue colour phase tree viper, and actually spoke like a human for two minutes and stopped hyper-ventilating. Then capturing a Tockay gecko, and water monitor , and winding them up something chronic and tormenting them to a highly annoying degree. Then low and behold, swimming in the ocean and out of all that sea he managed to bump into an ocean going Komodo dragon (probably taken out by boat and chucked in) until we come to the manic , babbling finale: "wow LOOK AT THESE MONSTERS< HE`S COMING FOR ME! WISH I COULD JUST GET MY CAMERA! OH NO! THE BIG ONE IS LOOKING AT ME! LOOK AT THAT MONSTER! WHERE IS MY CAMERA!........." and so on and so on.

He really does get first prize from me for the most annoying pratt of them all, by a mile.
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Mememe · Site Moderator Joined: 23 Dec 2005 Posts: 2141

Hear, Hear

Well said

LAF · I'm new here... Joined: 10 Feb 2006 Posts: 1

First up, he's a clearly a cretin. Okay, we all agree. Good. Now I'd like to elaborate...

1) He's a photographer... Yeah, right. He's a photographer in the same way that the Spice Girls could sing really well Live. The reasoning:

a) Tourist kit - I know it risks sounding snobby but pro's don't take £200 cameras into the field. They take more than one pro spec body, as i) They survive the extreme conditions and ii) Even if they break one they have a spare. Also, no flash and 1 wide angle lens.

b) That lens, it's a 17-35 Wide angle. At mimimum focusing distance you could fill the frame with, er, a football. Half the shots that come up on screen would need a dedicated macro lens to achieve.

CONCLUSION = HE'S A FRAUD.

c) Lens again... Minimum focussing distance on that one is 19.7 inches. Half of the time he's snapping away the subject is a lot closer than that

CONCLUSION = HE HASN'T GOT A CLUE WHAT HE'S DOING.

d) The onboard flash does not cover any wider than 28mm. Half the time his lens is set on 17mm. Also, the large 82mm front element would block the onboard flash from reaching close subjects. ALSO... the stills that appear on screen are never images that have been taken with flash.

CONCLUSION = HE IS A BLATANT ****ING LYING FAKE.

e) From the FoV and background blur the pictures that come up on screen are taken on fast mid to long telephopto lenses.

CONCLUSION = THE IMAGES ON THE TV ARE STILLS FROM WHAT HIS CAMERAMAN TAKES ON THE VIDEO CAM*

* I cannot quantifiably PROVE that bit, but unless he takes along a well equiped stills photographer with him that is the only option. I'll put a tenner on it.

2) Every week he almost dies. But he never does. The law of chances dictates that he must actually manage to kill himself at some point. So far we have been unfortunate. Either that or he talks a lot of b****cks.

3) He looks like a lanky Iggy Pop with a mullet.

4) He tells you how dangerous everything is at LEAST once a minute during every show.

5) He finds completely pristine, well fed, unblemished snakes a lot... there all completely wild then. Obviously.*

*Being facetious.

6) He uses wide angle video shots to make everything look a LOT bigger than it really is. Anyone see the 14ft amethystine python? Yeah, and I have a foot long Johnson.

7) He is an up-himself, arrogant, uninformative, deceptive, egotistical middle aged cretin*

*My personal oppinion of course.

I look fporward to reading of his Darwin award.

Thanks for listening, Lee.

Peter Parrot · Posted: Sat Feb 11, 2006 12:57 am Post subject:

I know nothing of photography but I have heard that said before about the "photos" being stills from the tv camera man.

So if the photos aren`t his then that leaves, to his credit, absolutely nothing! How does someone like him get to be in his position? Surely there are a 1000 far better men who could fill his shoes.

You are right, he walks like Iggy pop dances too!

What a Numpty! Razz

P S I have a horrible feeling that he`ll outlive us all, much as I`d like him to get the Darwin award!
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YSBRYDOLI POBL, GWELLA LLEOEDD
INSPIRING PEOPLE, IMPROVING PLACES
www.btcv.org
Visit our website - Gwelwch ein Gwefan
www.btcvcymru.org
Llinell Gymorth / Helpline: 08702 40 48 41

trueviper_UK · Posted: Thu Apr 19, 2007 7:26 pm Post subject:

I take it no one on this site likes him then??!! Laughing

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garysumpter · CaptiveBred Addict! Joined: 07 Apr 2006 Posts: 914

I hate him with a passion!
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lol93 · Posted: Thu Apr 19, 2007 8:30 pm Post subject:

Me too-he has no respect for the animals he 'encounters'.

The video of him getting tagged by a cobra was pretty funny, though! Laughing

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PhJp0p_MDew
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slippery42 · Posted: Thu Apr 19, 2007 9:24 pm Post subject: Austin Stevens

WHAT A TWAT
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lizard man · Posted: Thu Apr 19, 2007 9:28 pm Post subject:

lol you beat me to it lol93, i was just reading this thread from start and was just getting to the end and thought id mention when he gets tagged by a cobra, i have it on video somewhere, makes me laugh every time.
also i was watching a doc of his with a mate, and he gets bit by a sidewinder (as far as i remember) and he flings it across the desert, unfortunately when it bit him it didnt "get him" but he picks up the winder again with a stick and it looks dead, maybe just playing dead but i dont realy know if that species does that or has any need in the desert? Confused

Steve