Reptile Forum, Reptile Classifieds - CaptiveBred

[Dragon Breeder]

The following came from an anonymous Mother in Austin, Texas...
Things I've learned from my Boys (honest and not kidding):

1.) A king size waterbed holds enough water to fill a 2000 sq. ft.
house 4 inches deep

2.) If you spray hair spray on dusters and run over them with roller
blades, they can ignite.

3.) A 3-year old boy's voice is louder than 200 adults in a crowded restaurant.

4.) If you hook a dog leash over a ceiling fan, the motor is not
strong enough to rotate 42 pound boy wearing Batman underwear and a
Superman cape. It is strong enough, however, if tied to a paint can,
to spread paint on all four walls of a 20x20 ft. room.

5.) You should not throw baseballs up when the ceiling fan is on. When
using a ceiling fan as a bat, you have to throw the ball up a few
times before you get a hit. A ceiling fan can hit a baseball a long
way.

6.) The glass in windows (even double-pane) doesn't stop a baseball
hit by a ceiling fan.

7.) When you hear the toilet flush and the words "uh oh", it's already too late

8.) Brake fluid mixed with beer makes smoke, and lots of it.

9.) A six-year old Boy can start a fire with a flint rock even though
a 36-year old man says they can only do it in the movies.

10.) Certain Lego's will pass through the digestive tract of a 4-year old Boy.

11.) Play dough and microwave should not be used in the same sentence.

12.) Super glue is forever.

13.) No matter how much Jell-O you put in a swimming pool you still
can't walk on water.

14.) Pool filters do not like Jell-O.

15.) VCR's do not eject "salad" sandwiches even though TV commercials
show they do.

16.) Garbage bags do not make good parachutes.

17.) Marbles in petrol tanks make lots of noise when driving.

18.) You probably DO NOT want to know what that odor is.

19.) Always look in the oven before you turn it on; plastic toys do
not like ovens.

20.) The fire department in Austin, Texas a 5-minute response time.

21.) The spin cycle on the washing machine does not make earthworms dizzy.

22.) It will, however, make cats dizzy.

23.) Cats throw up twice their body weight when dizzy.

24.) 80% of Men who read this will try mixing the beer and brake fluid.



Those who pass this on to almost all of their friends, with or without
boys, do it because:

a) For those with no children - this is totally hysterical!
b) For those who already have children past this age, this is hilarious.
c) For those who have children this age, this is not funny.
d) For those who have children nearing this age, this is a warning.
e) For those who have not yet had children, this is birth control


Erik
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Reptiles by Erik Paterson
1.1.0 Chinese Water Dragon
0.1.0 Bearded Dragon
8.10.11 + 14 eggs Cape House Snake
0.2.1 Leopard Gecko

[Ailurus]

lol that was awesome

must try this

[Jack]

that is great i should try some of those
_________________
jack
http://z3.invisionfree.com/snakechat/index.php

[quasimodo]

The beer and brake fluid one did sound rather fun.... I have emailed the link to my grandchildren. Wonder if my daughter will ever speak to me again

[lol93]

Love it!
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[Natalia]

Ha ha brill!!

I wonder if the Rollerblades and dusters would work next time i skate at the ramps??
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R.I.P Kemari

[Godzilla]

nice 1 Erik , that was hillarious
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0.3.0 beardies Cheech II, Chong , Melody RIP Cheech I { 9/4/08}
2.7.0 albino royal
1.1.0 fireball royal
1.0.0 pastel royal
1.0.0 spider royal
oodles of normal royals

[Jack]

im gonna try the break fluid one
_________________
jack
http://z3.invisionfree.com/snakechat/index.php

[quasimodo]

[Jack]

not done it yet

need to get some beer
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jack
http://z3.invisionfree.com/snakechat/index.php